Be Yourself...But Who Am I?
On becoming and not being
I’ve often pondered what it truly means to “be yourself”. The concept of the Self is complex and requires a separate post, but it’s worth asking ourselves if we even know who we’ll be tomorrow. Change is an inevitable part of life, and the change within can happen slowly or suddenly.
I’ve experienced a lot of changes within me in recent years. My 20-year-old self would hardly recognise the person I am today. She might laugh at how my thoughts go, make very ‘intelligent’ arguments against my ideologies and even post on Instagram how weird I am. But both versions of myself are not wrong based on my respective phases of life.
What confuses me is, I’m unsure what people mean when they tell me to “be myself”, “be authentic”. I naturally absorb the behaviours and mannerisms of those around me. I “code-switch” though I’ve been doing this long before it had a name. I have different handwriting depending on my mood and what I’m writing. It might seem odd, but all of this is also me. My taste in music ranges from Dr. M.BalamuraliKrishna to Crosby, Stills & Nash. And then there are days I would only listen to “Tere Dar Par Sanam” by Kumar Sanu on repeat.
In many ways, I am a product of the people I interact with, the books I read, the music I listen to, the experiences, the places I live in and my whole state of mind at that time.
My current belief is that, as ephemeral as this body is, so is the illusion of who I am. This thought frees me from having to be one fixed thing. I’d rather keep becoming newer, better versions of myself and I will keep exploring that becoming.